Bouncing Back After a Breakup

A breakup can leave you feeling lost and broken, but the Bible is a powerful tool to help you bounce back. In part one of this series, I shared four ways to navigate the aftermath of a devastating heartbreak. Part two consisted of one of my personal prayers I petitioned before the Lord after I became serious about healing my heartache. Rebuilding your life after a relationship ends requires supernatural strength fueled by faith. This post will guide you through practical steps to rebuild your confidence and emerge stronger than ever.

Three promises from God to help you bounce back:

1. God will restore you.

After being involved with someone for an extended period of time, it's likely to lose parts of yourself. This can be a result of mistreatment or utilizing people pleasing tendencies to sustain the relationship. Once the relationship ends, you are left to pick up the pieces while figuring out what's next. This is where restoration takes place.

Get back to your identity.

Being in a relationship involves serving one another. It's easy to get caught up in the role when seeking to satisfy their wants and needs. After breaking up, they are no longer your responsibility which becomes the perfect opportunity to rediscover your identity. There is so much more to you than what you do for other people. Remember who God says you are. This, in turn, will rebuild your confidence.

Rebuild your confidence.

People who don't know who they are tend to take their inadequacies out on those who are aware of their identity. Their narcissistic traits try to tear people down because of their own misery. After experiencing this, I've realized that someone’s internal struggles are not a reflection of who I am. They were just taken out on me unjustly. My confidence comes from knowing who my source is and what I'm capable of. Nobody can take that away from me!

The Bible is full of promises from God. It also shares His thoughts towards His children. If you were subjected to insults that broke you down, spend some time in the Word to build yourself back up. As a bonus, write down some of your favorite traits about yourself. This will renounce negative things spoken and remind you of who you truly are.

• You are not crazy.

1 Peter 1:13

• You are beautiful.

Genesis 1:27

• You are special.

Psalms 139:13-14

• You are a warrior.

1 Corinthians 16:13

You are exactly who you think you are. Act like it.

During my time of singleness, I've had to learn how to trust myself again. I'm a relatively good decision-maker, but my poor dating choices made me second-guess my judgement. Now I'm more intuitive because I use wisdom which comes from seeking the Lord and actually think things through by considering factors with a wider perspective. If something feels off, then it's probably not meant for me.

Turn your wounds into wisdom. Be better, not bitter.

It is God’s desire for His children to be healthy and whole. No matter how many bad and traumatic things occurred in your previous relationship(s), know that you are not damaged goods. Isaiah 61:3 says, “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Jesus came so that we might have life and have it more abundantly. You can repossess peace, love, and joy. Don’t let the devil take them away!

Broken things can become blessed things if you let God do the healing.

2. God will vindicate you.

Sometimes people don't process breakups well. It's a dangerous thing when a person can't handle rejection properly. Emotions run high which causes them to behave erratically. The manic behavior creates situations that come across in a harassing manner. Some are dealt with on the low while others are played out publicly. I've experienced both. What I've learned is people will do things to get a reaction out of you. Majority of the time it's not worth addressing, but sometimes people have to be put in their place. As an assistant and former athlete, I’m used to dealing with a lot of noise simultaneously. I had to train my brain and ears to decipher what requires my attention and what is trying to throw me off. Therefore, I know how to ignore people then go about my day. I don't have the capacity to participate in a back and forth exchange concerning matters from a past relationship. It's literally pointless especially when nothing is going to be salvaged. Just keep it moving!

It's important to know the difference between a distraction and an attack. A distraction seeks to derail your focus. An attack attempts to destroy your destiny. The weapons may form, but they won't prosper. Whatever is contending against you has no power to block your destiny! God is bigger than what you are facing and will fight for you. The fact that you chose to move on from a deplorable relationship is a victory within itself. Let vengeance be the Lord's.

“Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.” -Romans 12:19

“I am constantly hounded by those who slander me, and many are boldly attacking me. But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” -Psalms 56:2-4

“for the Lord your God is He who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.” -Deuteronomy 20:4

“With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies.” -Psalm 108:13

“You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life. Lord, you have seen the wrong done to me. Uphold my cause! You have seen the depth of their vengeance, all their plots against me. Lord, you have heard their insults, all their plots against me—what my enemies whisper and mutter against me all day long.” -Lamentations 3:58-62

“With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people were strengthened by the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.” -2 Chronicles 32:8

“No harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.” -Psalm 91:10

May you overcome everything that is sent to destroy you.

3. Greater is coming.

A major part of embracing singleness for me has been adopting a forward momentum mindset. I used to struggle with letting things go and would dwell on them for an unhealthy amount of time. As I matured, I realized I didn't want to live like that anymore. Philippians 3:13-14 and 4:6-7 were instrumental in developing a shift in my mindset. God does not want us to carry our burdens nor be bound by them which is why He invites us to present them to Him so that we can press forward. It’s normal to be disappointed by a failed relationship. Future plans that seemed attainable had become a dream deferred. Although things don't always go as anticipated, better exists. Get ready for it! Greater is coming.

Some of my notable accomplishments during my single season include:

• Take Stock in Children Alumni interview

• Launched my virtual assistance business

• Landed a job in my dream industry

Letting go is a breakthrough to moving on.

As you navigate the aftermath of a breakup, embrace the power of resilience as you rebuild your life. New opportunities that will propel you into greater await. Unleash your inner strength for a remarkable comeback. You are unstoppable!

Written with grace,

Kiala

---

Worship playlist:

Bri Babineaux- Confident

Blanca ft. Jekalyn Carr- New Day Remix

Forrest Frank- Life is Good

---

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior? If not, say this prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Come into my life. I accept You as my Lord and personal Savior. I believe in my heart that You died and rose from the dead to save me. Thank You, Lord, for saving me in Jesus' name. Amen.

If you prayed this prayer, then congratulations! All of your sins are now forgiven and you have been born again. Heaven is rejoicing!