Guard Your Heart: Love Still Lives Here
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
In today's eventful world, there are countless things contending for our time and attention simultaneously. Some bring joy and fulfillment. Others inflict pain and hardship. These array of emotions affect one central place, the heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” This is a commanding verse that gives the charge of being vigilant over what influences you. Protecting it is vital to your well-being because it shapes your identity and actions. This blog post teaches the significance of guarding your heart and how to do so after dealing with the harsh reality of negative circumstances while staying true to who you are.
Experiencing betrayal or exploitation can alter your brain’s chemistry. The chemicals influence bodily functions that determine the way you move. In dire situations, fight-or-flight mode kicks in to sustain survival. There you’re left at a crossroad on how to respond. The fleshly response is to be bitter and seek revenge. Godly principles advise to be still and let the Lord for your battles. Handling matters in the heat of the moment can exacerbate the situation. Pausing before reacting gives the Holy Spirit a chance to intervene and whisper a gentle reminder from Romans 12:19, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
A lot of times, betrayal doesn't come from a stranger. It's the ones that you least suspect…people you've spent time with and made memories with and thought you knew but actually didn't. Their REAL character wasn't revealed until things went down.
No one is exempt from persecution. You may be the target of wicked people who will spread false information, assassinate your character, and play the victim in a situation they created. Despite what they do or say, their evil schemes won’t prosper and they won't get away with it. A day of reckoning will come.
There are some situations that will make you never want to be put in that position again. Bad experiences can serve as a guideline for navigating other relationships. It enforces new boundaries and intensifies those already in place. A lack of boundaries can enable repeated mistreatment and disrespect. Boundaries are a respectable way of teaching people what you're willing to accept and won't tolerate. Anyone who violates or doesn't respect them, should lose access. You can’t control the actions of another person but can reduce their access.
Don't feel guilty about being firm on your boundaries. Rise up; this matter is in your hands. No one can protect you better than yourself.
Having access to someone is a privilege.
I had some revelations this year after going through tumultuous times since my world shifted in 2023 that really enlightened me and changed my perspective. Things weren't what I thought they were nor how I wanted for things to run which provoked a few lifestyle changes. I’ve explored different career options, I don’t work for free, I’m more reluctant to share, I don't let slick or petty comments slide anymore, I don’t overextend myself, and I prioritize my alone time. Making these decisions have given me my power back.
Even nice people have their breaking points. Go where you're accepted and valued.
God has created His children in His image. Each creation was intricately crafted with a special uniqueness and complex nature. As a Christian, we are instructed to seek continuous growth and develop attributes that represent the Lord's character. Once the Holy Spirit dwells within, the fruits of the spirit manifest as evidence such as love, kindness, and gentleness. Allowing these traits to be embedded establishes the foundation of your identity before any malice can penetrate.
I have a strong sense of my personal identity which I'm unapologetically proud of. It consists of being kind, supportive, funny, resilient, smart, wise, sweet, thoughtful, dependable, savvy, strong-willed, and virtuous. Attempting to be anything else would be insulting to God's craftsmanship. I know full well that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I'm not changing for ANYONE.
Maintaining the purity of my heart is one of my top priorities. One of my favorite scriptures to pray is Psalm 51:10 which says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” I recite this often to rid myself of any anger or suppressed emotions.
It is very tempting to become evil like the person who did you wrong, but do not give place to the devil by allowing him to take root and change your essence. To be Christ-like is to be loving. Keep your heart clean in God's sight. The enemy seeks to destroy your inner man by infiltrating your mind with seeds of negativity. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” Stay kind, sweet, and gentle.
How to combat bitterness:
Rid your heart of negativity. (Colossians 3:8)
Check your heart before pursuing a new friendship/relationship. (Psalms 139:23-24)
Be honest about what hurt or offended you. (1 Peter 5:7 & Psalm 34:18)
Making new friends can be frightening to do when your trust has been violated. Flashes from the past bring back traumatizing memories of how a seemingly good friendship turned into a deceitful conspiracy. It’s important to exercise good judgment when connecting with new people to discern their motives. Who you decide to associate with will affect your destiny. “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” -Proverbs 13:20. Choose wisely.
One of my deepest heart’s desires was to make new female friends. It's been troubling for me since I was a kid because of girls talking about me behind my back, being two-faced, differing lifestyles/beliefs, and connecting to me for the wrong reasons. Admittedly, I was too naive to perceive such foul behavior. As a result, I developed a greater awareness, but it didn't change my longing for friendship. I'm just more guarded and selective of who I let in my space.
Over the past year, I’ve met and connected with some nice and remarkable girls locally and virtually. It’s been such a refreshing experience in comparison to others. I’m glad I stayed open-minded. Otherwise, the Lord wouldn’t have given me the desire of my heart and I would have missed out on great people.
People brag about being coldhearted and closed off. Don’t allow bad circumstances to harden your heart. The human connection is built by acts of kindness. It's not that you should be heartless, but be selective of where you sow love. Opportunists are real and will take advantage of your kindness.
Just because a romantic relationship failed, it doesn't mean it won't work with someone else.
Just because a leader/advisor mishandled you, it doesn't mean no else is equipped to guide you.
Just because a friend was disloyal, it doesn't mean everyone will turn their back.
Refuse to believe the lies that there aren't any good-hearted people left or that everyone is out to get you. Genuine humans still exist.
Everything you do is based on the disposition of your heart. Battling betrayal, implementing firm boundaries, knowing and staying grounded in your identity, and being open to new connections while using discernment are ways to remain emotionally available without forfeiting your destiny. Your heart is a blessing, not a curse. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Guard it with all diligence. Love dwells where it’s welcomed.
Written with grace,
Kiala
Scripture References:
“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” -1 Corinthians 15:33
“The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the Lord tests the hearts.” -Proverbs 17:3
“Let all that you do be done with love.” -1 Corinthians 16:14
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” -Psalm 139:23-24
“Little children, let’s not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.” -1 John 3:18
“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” -Isaiah 48:10
“Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” -2 Corinthians 7:1
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” -Ezekiel 36:26
“Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults.” -Psalm 19:12
“Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; Try my mind and my heart.” -Psalm 26:2
Resource:
Worship playlist:
Hulvey- Love Like That
Bri Babineaux- Make Me Over
Fred Hammond- Give Me a Clean Heart
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior? If not, say this prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus,
Come into my life. I accept You as my Lord and personal Savior. I believe in my heart that You died and rose from the dead to save me. Thank You, Lord, for saving me in Jesus' name. Amen.
If you prayed this prayer, then congratulations! All of your sins are now forgiven and you have been born again. Heaven is rejoicing!
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