Preparation for the Promise: Love in the Making
- Dec 28, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Feb 13
God has been guiding me through a transformative journey during my single season. Despite the pressure I’ve faced from others to date, I chose to trust in the beauty of God’s timing while He readied my heart. “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every matter under heaven” -Ecclesiastes 3:1. Part one of this series consisted of four ways to navigate a heartbreak. In part two, I shared one of my personal prayers I petitioned before the Lord to heal my heartache. Part three showed how to rebuild confidence and emerge stronger than ever after a breakup. From lessons of the past to blessings of the future, here’s how God has been shaping my heart for a new chapter in love.
A shift in priorities
2023 was the worst year of my life. The second half of that year consisted of loss and temporary pauses which brought about involuntary lifestyle changes. I went from being constantly on the go with a busy schedule to being more present at home. What seemed like a setback turned out to be a setup for something greater. Admittedly, I can get so caught up in being a goal-getter that I lose my true focus. During my hiatus, my perspective was reshaped and priorities were realigned to prepare me for what was going to unfold next in my life. The level of busyness I was on simply was not feasible for having a family of my own. I remember having a conversation with someone about why I wasn’t actively dating. I shared that I was busy and didn’t want to make adjustments in my schedule to incorporate a man in my life. I assumed it would be a waste of time due to previous bad experiences and that’s something I couldn’t afford. Although I don’t have any immediate plans to get married and create a family any time soon, this season revealed some things needed to be rearranged for the future.
Maturity includes a shift in priorities. #FromMajorToMinor
Elevated by etiquette
Growing up, I was a tomboy. I preferred to play sports, hang out with the guys, and didn't mind getting dirty or sweaty. As I started to come into my own as a young lady, I acquired the desire to become more feminine. This journey began in 2020. I invested in my appearance by upgrading my wardrobe and getting my hair professionally done regularly. Anybody who knows me knows that my hair is a huge part of my identity. Maintaining my appearance has also given me a boost of confidence. When you look good, you feel good!
A significant plot twist I experienced was when I randomly competed in a beauty pageant. I went from winning the most athletic superlative as an athlete to the first runner up contestant. Many lessons were learned that changed my perspective and influenced me to embrace my femininity.
Following the Miss Freedom USA pageant, I explored more ways to become more poised. One of my focuses was to improve my posture. I have scoliosis which causes me to slouch. With my various roles, I’m prone to face-to-face interactions. This gives me an extra incentive to be mindful of maintaining my posture and appearance. Additionally, I added another exercise video to my workout regimen. This one concentrates on practical movements to improve balance. Benefits include cognitive stimulation, fall prevention, and increased muscular strength. My wellness journey expanded by adding a chiropractor to my care team. The specialized technique utilized helps retrain the nervous system and release built up tension stemming from being in fight or flight mode. My treatments have realigned my body and relieved me of stressors. I’ve received more benefits than I intended! See this directory if you’re interested in trying network spinal.
Modesty is a virtue that brings glory to God. I pride myself on carrying myself with class. My lifestyle is much different than my peers’. I don’t drink, smoke, cuss, party, listen to secular music, dress provocatively, or have sex (I’m a virgin.). The way I live is more than about upholding a personal reputation. It’s about striving to honor God in all I do. I will also be representing who I’m involved with and I want to do that well.
The way someone carries themselves will determine how they will be perceived.
Love begins at home: the art of homemaking
During my downtime last year, I was thrust into another level of adulting: learning the art of homemaking. Homemaking can be defined as taking care of the home to create an atmosphere that fosters peace and love. Its duties involve various tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and organizational management. The qualities of a homemaker can be derived from the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman.
A Proverbs 31 woman is:
Wise
Resourceful
Nurturing
Loving
A steward of proper time management
Each component contributes to making the environment feel safe for her family to abide in and inviting to those who visit which represents the heart of Jesus.
“She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” -Proverbs 31:27
Ways to create peace and order:
Keep the common areas clean with a routine.
Implement systems (use a calendar accessible to everyone, assign chores, coordinate pickups/dropoffs etc)
Speak with a gentle tone.
Wait until both parties have the capacity to engage in a serious conversation.
Be sensitive to each other's needs.
Surprise them with a special just because gift.
Check out this resource for additional tips on learning more about homemaking. https://avirtuouswoman.org/homemaking/
One of my hobbies is baking. This is something I’ve enjoyed since I was a child. My cooking on the other hand was problematic. It took a lot of trial and error, but I’m proud of my progress. I learned to cook for not only myself but for my future family as well. We can’t survive solely off of takeout. Over time, I’ve grown to enjoy trying new recipes and look forward to serving my family some day.
Here are some of my favorite recipes.
Red Velvet Cheesecake with Oreo Crust (I used this springform pan.)
If any of these tips help you or you tried any of the recipes, please let me know in the comments how they've impacted you. Follow me on Pinterest for more!
Hear from me personally about the characteristics of the type of man I'm looking for, my process of fully surrendering my pathetic dating life to God, and what I look forward to in marriage.
I unintentionally left out a few things from my list:
Patient
Laid back (to balance out my personality)
HANDSOME (I don't want to wake up to a loch ness monster and be terrified every day.)
Family-oriented
Has a sense of humor (I love to joke around and laugh!)
Kind to me and others
It is evident God has been at work in every area of my life. I’ve gained clarity on my desires plus a newfound hope. As I prepare to eventually date again, I feel equipped to build a purposeful courtship in due time. Each lesson learned has led me closer to the promise. I’m moving forward with faith, expectant to receive who God has designed for me.
Written with grace,
Kiala
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior? If not, say this prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus,
Come into my life. I accept You as my Lord and personal Savior. I believe in my heart that You died and rose from the dead to save me. Thank You, Lord, for saving me in Jesus' name. Amen.
If you prayed this prayer, then congratulations! All of your sins are now forgiven and you have been born again. Heaven is rejoicing!
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